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Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Review: Shittiest Product Ever - Berrisom Peel Off Lip Tints

So I remember reading about Berrisom peel off lip tints a year ago, and one of my friends told me they were the best selling K-Beauty product in Malaysia. I ended up buying them on impulse when they were on sale.

Either my friend was sorely mistaken, or there's one sadistic psycho who derives pleasure in torturing people buying them in bulk.

Let me take you through the bullshit application process first....

First, it's like applying Elmer's glue on your lips. It's hard to get an even layer and the edges get patchy as they dry as you apply. At the same time, the middle bit? They never dry fully, even after 5 minutes, because your saliva keeps it wet. And I have Sjögren's, a disease that keeps my mouth bone dry, so I have no idea what it'll be like for normal people.

So it takes 5 minutes for most of it to dry. WHO THE HELL HAS 5 MINUTES TO WAIT FOR THEIR LIPSTICK TO DRY???


Oh, and the scent. You know how those "fruit-scented" plastic toys we had as kids always had that cloyingly artificial scent? Now imagine setting them on fire and mixing the scent of melting plastic in. That's how these smell like. Various shades of melted plastic.

If you get them on your teeth, you're going to have to rebrush your teeth because just wiping them off with a tissue won't work.

Certain colours also sting as you wait for them to dry. I legit started tearing while doing a swatch video:



Oh, and they leave this gross, sour, acrid taste on your lips. You know how dentists put acid on your cavities to really clean them before putting in the filling? THAT taste.

After all that shit, you would at least expect it to be long lasting. Nope. It faded in patches in less than 4h, before I even ate anything or drank anything other than water. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT??? After everything I've been through, I expect this shit to be not just bulletproof, but nuclear bomb proof. As in, when the nuclear holocaust comes along and I have to eat my husband for survival, my lips are still a lovely shade of pink as I gnaw on his remains.

Did I mention that since it's hard to get an even layer on, the stain left behind ends up looking patchy? It looks like I just bit my lips and they're lovingly stained with blood. In fact, I think I'd have a more pleasant experience if I just bit my lips and used my own blood as a lip stain.

FUCK YOU BERRISOM.




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